I Walk Alone

I Walk Alone
by Theodora Filis

I walk alone in my dreams. Always alone. Always fighting for justice—confronting those who hurt me years ago. I wake with my heart pounding, sweat on my chest and neck, realizing I’m still allowing the abuse to echo through me, all these years after I ran.

Maybe that’s where I went wrong.
I ran from the shame of what happened.
From the disappointment I felt in myself.
From admitting the truth—that I was abused. Over and over and over again.

I Walk Alone

Desperate to forget.
Desperate to hold on to a normal life.
Desperate to forgive.

To forgive myself.
To forgive those who stood by and let it happen.
To forgive those who saw and said nothing.
To forgive those who joined in.
To forgive those who hurt me and liked how it made them feel.
To forgive the years they stole—and are still stealing—from me.
To forgive myself for not being strong enough to ask for help.

I Walk Alone

Alone in my life.
Alone in my dreams.
Alone with my pain.
Alone with my anger.
Alone with my desperation.

Alone, dreaming of a better day.
Alone, knowing there may be no better days—only more days. More pain. More silence. More suffering.

I Walk Alone
Because I am alone.